


Far Far Off Writer

by DreamingFandoms, EchoingVegas



Category: Slime Rancher (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2020-07-24 19:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20020105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingFandoms/pseuds/DreamingFandoms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoingVegas/pseuds/EchoingVegas
Summary: The Host wasn't normal, he knew all of that and when it came too much for the all-seeing man to handle. He found out about a great opportunity. Heading far off to the Far Far Range lightyears away from almost ALL humans.what he didn't expect was for a group of Sentient Slimes to become attach to him and worry about him.oddly he doesn't care.





	1. Thousand Years, One Step

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doctor_Discord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first ever step on the Ranch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! it's ya Girl! DF. You can thank Doctor_Discord for driving me to write this AU we've formed together. 
> 
> If you haven't you should go right over and read their amazing Ego Manor Series! I promise you it's totally worth the time.
> 
> but enjoy this story!
> 
> Beta'd by AnimeXIII

Host was... tired. Just because he was blind didn't mean he couldn't see; then again the blind normally couldn't. But Host wasn't really that normal.

Most people don't rip their own eyeballs out, after all.

"Is he bleeding?"

"Did he escape from the hospital?"

"Mommy, why is that man wearing bandages?" 

"Don't look at him!"

The Host grumbled annoyed, trying to bite down his Narrations, knowing once he started he would be causing pain to all of the people he walked by. Stupidly judgemental people... the Host wished online shopping was still functional for him but his apartment had cut his Internet. Which meant he couldn't do all his shopping online until it was installed again, so he had to go outside and brave Humans. 

The bags were heavy as he decided to try and bulk buy so he wouldn't have to go out sooner. Most of it was paper supplies, the Host wanting to keep writing and get his next book out so he would be able to pay for the Internet again. He paused in his small burst of Narrations to make sure he didn't walk in front of a car and cause a mass panic at some poor ER, a poster catching his interest.

>   
>  Tired of Earth? Want to do something new?  
>  Join 7Zee Corporation's team and head off to the great unknown!  
>  Become a Rancher on the Far Far Range today!

There was a mailing address under it all, which the Host took the effort to memorize with his Sight... which did cause a minor bit of bleeding; but a small beep on his arm and a prick to the skin told him he was fine. His worries about his Hemophilia, modern technology made it so he had a clotting medicine with him at all times. Even enabling it so he didn't have to fumble with it and try and inject it himself personally like he did at the start.

The only complaint he had now was having to go out and pick up new cartridges... though if he did actually go through with this somewhat crazy idea he would he have to see if they could get it shipped to him. He would prefer having it compared to trying to avoid using his Sight. 

He paused in his planning, was he really going to go through with the idea of going to a random Planet to get away from humans? Sure he was tired and done of all their judgemental glares, stares, and gawking over his eyes, but was it worth it?

Maybe he'd see if he could ask about it all... but it wasn't that crazy for him; he had done far worst things. Maybe moving away would be good for him. He would Email them when he got to the café he had been stealing WiFi from. 

The talking and planning took a few days, after all his health issues made them ponder if he would be a good 'candidate' for the program. Soon he was able to convince them and they were willing to see about setting up shipments of Blood Clotter on a somewhat frequent basis that he wouldn't have to worry about running out.

His publisher was also worried, but the woman did still think he was blind and had a Ghost Writer he refused to credit writing everything for him, so he brushed those off easily. Yet the change would mean he would have to give up his quill and paper; as he couldn't just mail in the drafts anymore. He'd have to send them through the Starmail system, meaning he'd be using a computer... so long as he thought of it as a typewriter he should be fine.

Once that was all settled, he was cleared and soon he was set to take the trip, sleeping for 1000 light years to get to the planet and his new Ranch. It was an actually nice trip for him if he really thought about it. He likely wouldn't get any nightmares as he needed to stay asleep for the whole thing! 

He let one of the workers help him into the pod, feeling too awkward in his oversized trench coat to correct the young woman that he didn't need her assistance. He ignored the tiny bit of pleasure that bubbled up at it; he did not need others to be dependant on! He was fully capable of being on his own.

Those were his final thoughts as he slipped into slumber. His Pod, along with a few others, were loaded up to be sent off. A small smile on his lips as he truly didn't get any nightmares, though he was only really aware when he woke up when it was time, now on his new ranch. He was already in his new home, with his few belongings still in the shipping crates he had packed up. Almost all of them were his books, still neatly bound and wrapped in the soft foam padding they had supplied. He chose to spend the first day unpacking, neatly lining his books up on the shelves.

He liked the fact they were built into the walls, giving him much more space. the desk even stuck a bit out of his window with the small computer sitting on top, a chair already left in place. He put his packed cushions onto it as he planned to spend his nights and free time there. Even if he was meant to be a Rancher, he would not give up his passion of writing. It was the one good thing he had left and anyone who wanted him to give it up would have to pry it from his cold, dead hands. 

He shook his head a bit to get rid of the darker thoughts, focusing on putting all of his book up. He knew his house was different than the base models, he needed much more shelf space then the plain ones had. Six of his ten crates were just his books; he didn't want to leave a single one behind, even the bloody ones he wanted to hide away. But now he didn't need to really, he knew where they were and he wasn't going to have anyone come over ever. His publisher could only send him Emails... or really Starmails now. There was no one in thousands, maybe even millions, of miles around him.

He took his first step outside his home once all his books were away, and took in a deep breath of fresh alien air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this one is Short! I wanna get this out and i didn't have much more to really put in this Chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it a whole lot though!


	2. The Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark reflects on his life choices as he decides he needs yet another dumbass in his life that he will complain about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all, I'm working hard to manage this working great so all of you can enjoy this great story with me. 
> 
> And i gotta thank my Amazing Twin AnimeXIII being willing to come on and beta so any of my errors won't show up and actually help sort out Tags because they are the Coolest. 
> 
> But besides that i'm seriously glad you're all enjoying this and i hope you keep doing so!
> 
> Beta'd by AnimeXIII

Dark was out, his partner would say he was out sulking about but Dark refused to consider going out sulking. He had needs that weren't something he could just handle by sitting all day in their moss blanket cave. 

Okay, maybe he _WAS_ sulking because Wil could actually just bite fruit right off the trees and he missed the taste of vegetables, but he couldn't really have them anymore could he? So he was in a sulky mood, and the best place to get away from his annoyances, for the most part, was to go into the Dry Reef. Not many Slimes could reach it and even more so during the day. Eating the Hen Hens or Stony Hens when he spotted one and enjoyed watching all of the Slimes panic and run away from him was nice and he needed the food anyway.

Not like he could do anything, he was too small to actually eat one so attempting would just be a waste of energy. But the want to do so was still there... a want he couldn't fulfill... much like his veggie craving which lead to him being even more sulky. He should see about heading back and telling Wil as much and allowing the giant largo to squish him, even if for a bit to remind him of a simpler time, but he stopped at a voice.

"The Host approaches the gate...? Gate, at the edge of his ranch..." It was a male, clearly a new human who came here after the last one was chased off; but the way he was talking was weird... and had him curious to get a closer look.

"In front of him is the Dry Reef... with many Pink Slimes moving about to fulfill their needs." It was steady, like a voice he sometimes listened to when some dumb Rancher forgot a radio nearby and he and Wil claimed it, but it was also shaking with uncertainty; it only took Dark a second to see why.

Some blind idiot decided he could become a fucking Slime Rancher.

Dark watched as he almost stepped on some poor Pink Slime repeatedly, and struggled to get his vac to work like needed. At this rate he was more likely to fall into the sea than be effective... He shouldn't go help him, he was a Tarr. The man would kill him easily if he realized what he was.

But he couldn't see... how would he know? As long as he talked and didn't touch him it would be fine, right? Right. So Dark moved over slowly and spoke up.

"Are you alright?" He asked waiting for an answer, ignoring the Slimes that ran off to avoid being eaten. Which he couldn't but he wasn't going to tell anyone that, it was much better for him and Wil's sake if they thought he was capable of consuming them.

"The Host is alright... he is just trying to get his bearings in his new home." The man spoke, looking over slightly in his direction. "May the Host ask for your name?"

"I'm Dark, is yours Host?" Dark had to wonder if the man was just talking in third person for kicks or had some other reason.

"Yes, the Host's name is the Host." Host spoke, looking in his general direction. "The Host is glad to meet Dark, but he is a bit confused why someone is here as he assumed this place was mostly isolated." 

"I'm in the neighborhood..." Dark spoke, trying to stay vague. "Are you new to this?"

"Yes, the Host actually arrived recently today." The man smiled slightly, "He has found it quite enjoyable for the most part, though he is trying to adjust to the different environment and the Host is struggling somewhat... Is Dark talking to him to offer his assistance?" 

"If it's alright with you." Dark tried to ignore how shy he was sounding. "I don't want to be a nuisance to you, Host." 

"Dark can not be a nuisance to the Host, he would appreciate some company right now, actually." Host soothed a bit of Dark's nerves. "...The Host feels ashamed but still brings himself to ask Dark if it would be okay if they held hands?" Dark had to pause and swear internally, he technically didn't _have_ hands to actually be held. Sure, he could make himself have a more humanoid form, but doing so would be hard and he wouldn't be able to make his hand feel like skin. His worries stopped when he actually took in Host and melted; he had gloves on, and if Dark looked later he could get his own.

"Sure, give me a second." Dark spoke, moving to shift and move his bulk to mimic the same shape as Host. Though he was still much shorter than the man, and he was sure the Host was shorter than an average human being. Once he was done he walked over and took the gloved hand. "There, is that good?" He looked over him, trying to see if the man was comfortable with it.

"The Host marvels slightly at how odd Dark's grip is, but its oddity does not upset or bother him; he actually enjoys it." The Host spoke with a similarly shy smile. "The Host is ready for Dark to show him around now." 

"Well, let me give you the grand tour." Dark spoke, being careful in guiding Host, the man couldn't see after all. "Are you able to use your Vac Pack or do you need help with it?"

"The Host can use it, but Host wishes that it had audio to announce what was in a chamber." Host went softly. "Then he wouldn't have to remember what is in them." 

"That's good... and I might know someone that could help with that, but for now we're enjoying a tour of the Dry Reef." Dark had to stop and yank Host over a bit, stopping himself from mentally blushing at the loud squeak the man made at it, Dark looking up with apologetic eyes. "You almost stepped on a Pink Slime, sorry if I startled you by doing that. From personal experience you tend to slip and fall if you actually do." 

"Oh," Host hummed out, "the Host thanks Dark for preventing him from falling down, he prefers avoiding injuries if he can. The Host can not see well and has trouble tending to himself if something were to seriously happen." 

"That's a problem you'll have to deal with on the Range. Why did you even come if you have those problems?" Dark was starting to get concerned, trying to make sense of the walking, blind enigma that was the Host.

"The Host..." He paused, looking at the ground and kicking at the dirt. "The Host did not enjoy being with other humans. He didn't enjoy being looked at like a oddity whenever he had to go out and felt they weren't truly caring of others, even with the advancements we've made. So, when the Host saw a chance to leave he took it." 

"I see..." Dark hummed out, "sorry if that was hard for you to think about but hopefully this will be better." 

"The Host agrees, he is hopeful that being on the Far Far Range will be good for him. The Host is feeling that it is more of a reality than a hope after meeting Dark, though." Dark was stunned into silence at the man's words, he was making someone feel that? Wil always said he loved how great Dark was to him but hearing it from a stranger hit much harder than being with his partner and almost husband. He did end up having to stop and process it.

"I... thank you, Host." Dark stammered out, looking away and knowing he was blushing somewhat. "Careful, where we're going there's some Rock Slimes, they tend to roll about, not caring if they hurt you."

"Thank you Dark, the Host appreciates the forewarning about the type of Slimes in this area. Does Dark have anything else he wishes to warn Host about?"

"Be careful of Tarrs, they don't often form, but if they do they'll bite you." Dark spoke, trying to not let a sour tone reach his voice. After all he was talking about himself, saying what the mindless versions did. "They'll also try to eat other Slimes, but you can destroy Tarrs with some water, you might need to get a tank for it if you don't have it already." 

Dark kept going, making sure to steer Host away from Slimes, though it was easy seeing how he was a Tarr and they all thought he'd eat them. Which he still couldn't do, even if he looked like a human. It was just an impossibility no matter what he tried.

"The Host does not have a water tank, he'll see about getting it soon." Host nodded sagely, soaking up the advice eagerly. "The Host would prefer not being some Slime's snack."

Dark laughed at how drily he said that last part. "Then also be careful of feral Slimes, they aren't going to try and eat you, but they will bite; they'll calm down if you feed them."

Their conversation was cut short by a new voice echoing out from nearby.

"Ohhhh Darky~! Where are you? I know you should be around here sulking stop hiding from me!"


	3. Wilford Honeylovin' Warfstache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Host is soon making a Brand new friend. this one is much more...
> 
> Eccentric then Dark is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEy y'all! it's DF. Shocker Double Update this Week!
> 
> It's cause, most likely when Anime Posts this, i'll be driving to Disney! meaning i wouldn't be able to post this update at the proper time. Hopefully You'll all enjoy it and Won't mind if the update after my Week in Disney might not be on time. I'm going to try and get what i can done but I also want to enjoy my Vacation!
> 
> Beta'd by AnimeXIII

The Host turned to the source of the voice and barely managed to stop himself from using his Sight; but he was surely confused about how he talked. "There you are, Darky! Oh, are we playing this game today?" 

"Hello, Wil." Dark spoke, moving to slip his hand out of Host's and walked over, "It's nice to see you. I thought you would stay home, though."

"Well, I got worried about you~!" Wil replied and Host allowed himself to Narrate and see the pair. They looked like humans, but weren't. Dark was a dark grey, bordering on black tar like substance with swirls of coloring peaking out, with a bright glittering red and a soft blue being the most predominant. His mouth was a tight line as he was pushed about but his eyes were a pure white but seemed to almost be sunken into his head... or at least what was mimicking a head. A long flow of the tar like ooze acted as bangs, falling and even dripping over one of his eyes to merge back into him once it hit the ground.

Wil, on the other hand was a bright pink - the same coloring of bubble gum flavored gum that he'd see in markets when he actually went into one - pink. He had strips of a bit darker pink covering him in spots and the thickness seemed to vary on what part of his humanoid form they were at; his chest and legs having thicker ones while his arms and face were thinner, but were still stunning to look at. His eyes seemed to almost glow a golden sheen with his amusement and merriment over Dark's frustrations, with a almost holographic halo hovering over his head to match the soft white cartoonish angel wings that flapped gently, they were clearly part of him but not attached like the long tail he had waving about. "It's bad for you to be out in the sun Wil, I was going to come back soon..." Dark spoke, looking worried which had Host wondering why.

"Aw, don't stress it's close enough to night, I can be out!" Wil shot back, hitting Dark playfully with his hip. "Now, who's your new friend? Come on, introduce me to him!" Wil pressed on, bouncing on his feet slightly.

"Will you go home if I do?" Dark asked, looking at him a bit tired and annoyed 

"Fine, only because I love you." Wil spoke, planting a kiss on Dark's head. Now that Host took the time to think about it, Wil was much taller than either of them, while Dark was similar in height to Host, only being an inch or two shorter; Wil seemed to almost tower over both of them.

"Wil, this is Host; he's the newest Rancher in the area." Dark spoke up. "Do be careful, he's blind." It was a warning and Host could see it was likely due to how Wil was shaking slightly like he wanted to pounce.

"Aw, fine." Wil pouted but walked over and took Host's hand. He had the weird grip like Dark did, present but not firm or hard like a human's hand, more soft and malleable. "I'm Wilford Warfstache! A pleasure to meet you, Hosty!"

"Hosty?" Host asked, tilting his head in confusion. 

"Well, everyone needs a fun, cute nickname!" Wil explained like it was reasonable. "I call Darky Darkipoo sometimes" Wil whispered, or attempted to if Dark's sharp cry of embarrassment said anything about how he most certainly heard what was said. "So Hosty seems suitable for you!"

"Wil, go home now, please." Dark pressed, glaring at him.

"But it's almost dusk. Darky! I'll be fine, but I do have to go anyway; need to see my student!" Wil pressed a kiss to Dark's cheek. "Hosty, if you ever have a chance to get to the Moss Blanket you should let us know! I can give you the proper tour for it!"

Wil almost seemed to float off... Host didn't know _how_ the man... slime(?) being was floating off, but he was hovering away to go and head towards the Moss Blanket, Host had to guess. He didn't really want to ask Dark in fear doing so might chase the man off. He seemed unsure of every movement he made towards the man, then again Host was a human; maybe the creature thought Host would hate him if he realized he wasn't actually Human? Host wasn't sure what to say or do to soothe the almost small stressed being.

"Host believes Dark hasn't finished the tour of the Dry Reef he was giving the Host." Host cleared his throat. "Should the two resume holding hands so Host doesn't lose Dark or stumble onto something?" He held his hand out, waiting for his reaction and wanting to have Dark show him everything going on.

"Oh. Yeah, let's do that." Dark took his hand again and Host smiled, less shyly then at the start of this because it was nice to enjoy the feeling of it. "Now, hopefully no one will interrupt us again."

"The Host hopes as well, as much has he is enjoying meeting everyone like Wilford and Dark, Host feels like this is all he can handle for today." Host hummed out. "Can Dark tell Host what the sky looks like?"

"Huh, why?" Dark asked, looking over at the other man as he started to show him the other areas, moving to help him step down down the stone stairs carefully.

"The Host wants to know what it looks like."

"Alright... it's, well its turning into a nice orange red. I don't know how to explain the coloring to you as I don't know if you've ever seen colors or not... But there aren't any clouds to see at all... some of the stars are just starting to peak out as the sun sets." Dark rambled a bit, looking at the expansion of sky above them.

"Dark paints a lovely picture, and the Host has seen colors." Host clarified, enjoying Dark's rumbling voice. Already he was getting ideas for new scenes in his book out here. "The... the Host wasn't born blind, though the Host has only ever known the darkness that comes with being blind."

"Oh..." Dark pondered it, letting Host had to pause and wonder why he spilled that to Dark? He had just met the person... but he was much better than any person Host had ever met. "Well... I don't really know many things from Earth I could use as a reference; I've only been on the range my whole life... most of what I know of it is from stuff the people left behind when they went back."

"The Host isn't the first to live here?" Host pondered, confused and a bit interested.

"You aren't, a few have come through, though they never seem to last long. I think the longest was four months or maybe five?" Dark explained. "They always are excited when they start but they quickly realize that a rancher life isn't for them; some slimes can be rough if you aren't prepared..." Dark told him. "Like Rocks or Booms if you get to them. They tend to... you know, explode without much warning."

"The Host feels he should mention that almost all jobs have possible dangers." Dark hummed out in agreement with the other as he moved to guide him back to the ranch.

"I think that's about everything here, besides the bridges to the Moss Blanket but I think that's something we can save for when you can actually get in. I don't even know how but almost every time someone leaves those old gates reset; meaning you won't be able to get in without a key."

"The Host must say, the Far Far Range is turning out to be different than he expected." 

"I think that happens to everyone."

"Well, goodnight Host." Dark spoke as he helped Host to the door.

"Good night, Dark." Host replied softly.


	4. Hidden Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Host finds a stray who doesn't like to stick around.
> 
> That doesn't mean he ends up sticking around against his will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! i'm Super sorry things haven't been as consistent as i'd like. I've been enjoying a nice break from work [which has been a bit much for me lately] and some me time. so I haven't been driving to Write anything so this took much longer than i'd ever want!
> 
> But i'm SO glad all of you were willing to stick with this. I promise to be as good as i can be.
> 
> ~DF
> 
> Beta'd by EchoingVegas

Host slept... surprisingly well for a person who was plagued by constant nightmares. Maybe meeting Dark got rid of them for the night? Or Wilford, Host wasn't sure who he'd be thanking mentally. But he was getting started for today,having happily gathered some slimes as he was out with Dark; helping him work and remember what held what. So he had a few bouncing pinks as they were easy to please and a coop...

Was...

Host swore there were six Hen Hens in that coop with a Roostro he had to help wrestle away from a Tabby, but there was only five now. 

He paused at the loud murr noise that came from under his porch, almost startling him into falling off. Was, no he was told no earthen animals lived here unless the previous owner left a cat here... no. Dark mentioned Tabbies, and Wilford looked like a cat; was Wilford a Tabby? 

The Host wanted to test it, seeing if he could find out what Wilford was. But Host was not sure... he knew all of what he was could do on Earth. The Far Far Range was something new, different, to Host, something he wasn't sure about and wanted to test and see. He heard the familiar call of a Hen Hen... was it under his porch? He moved to see about getting the thing freed until he heard the murr again and the similar shifting and slide of Slimes like Dark and Wilford, making him pause. Another person of slime? How odd they'd be this far out, under his porch no less! How did one get stuck under his porch?

"Hello? The Host calls out to his possible Hen Hen thief." Host spoke as he got on his hands and knees. 

"Sorry..." The Tabby spoke quietly from under his porch "Hungry." 

"The next time the Host is willing to share, all his guest needs to do is ask." Host replied. "...Does... does Host's guest need help getting out?" He was unsure, he didn't know how to help the poor person out from under the wooden porch without using his words. 

"Guest okay, leave on own." The words were slurred and clipped, the person not able to talk well but the Host didn't mind. "More?" 

"The Host does not have many, but he will go out to find more for Host's new friend." 

"Okay..." The Slime mumbled back and making him happy. 

Host after awhile enjoyed the little relationship that he had with the Slime who would appear under his porch. Often demanding Hen Hens, which wasn't much of a problem as he worked on his farm slowly; building a silo to hold and keep all of the Hen Hens and other foods he was gathering. By this point he was holding some Phosphor Slimes with Pink in two separate pens to make sure he didn't make any Largos. While Pinks were easy to manage alongside the Phosphor when they were shielded by the sun, that didn't mean they couldn't become trouble.

"The Host has to inquire, does his guest lay plorts?" Host asked, looking down at his steps where he heard lazy purring.

"No." The stranger said back. "No plorts."

"Interesting..." Host hummed slowly. "Does... his friend know others like him?"

"Yes! An, Bubba..." his friend spoke "Grumpy today, hidin'."

"The Host understands, you wish to give him space?" He heard a murr of agreement that made him smile. "Does... Host's friend wishes to hear a story?" The Host missed telling stories... then again he had NO ONE to tell stories to. Living alone was nice but was so lonely, all he had to read his stories were editors who always nickpicked every line and ruining the flow he had worked so hard on more often than not. 

"Story?" His unknown Tabby friend asked in confusion.

"Yeah, story. Has... the Host's friend not ever heard of them before?" Host asked worried and stressed at the idea, the idea of no one knowing about stories has something of a small stressor for him; seeing how his whole life was now made up of only stories thanks to his narrations and words.

"No... tell please?" His friend asked, sounding so eager and Host relaxed; he could do this...

"Host asks what type of story his friend would like to hear. If he needs, the Host will happily explain what he means." Host spoke, watching the Slimes he had bounce around.

"...please?" His friend asked after a moment, which made Host laugh. It was a laugh that came deep from his belly as he loved talking and explaining the art of storytelling or writing 

"Of course, the Host loves explaining his arts." Host smiled before he slowly started telling the other of his passion. It was going to be a long day of peaceful enjoyment.


	5. Ranger's Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Host has an interesting talk with one of his few neighbors, he finds them... _very_ interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by EchoingVegas
> 
> I am so Sorry this is late! I didnt have a strong will to write. I hope this is extra long to make up for it!

It was the third day when the Host awoke to a ding, which was confusing. He hadn't been talking to his publishing firm recently, who was sending him mail? He stumbled over to where his computer was and got his Text-to-Speech program to read the email out for him.

> Hey! I heard that you're the newest Rancher on the planet! My name is Chase, and I wanted to introduce myself and how the Range Exchange works since I doubt 7Zee Corporation explained that to you. I can't believe that your blind! It must be really tough so you are more than happy you can send me a Starmail to ask for help! If I had the time I would see if we could link up some teleporters so I could do some work on your stuff to make it all more friendly for you, but I'm really busy working for my sort of sponsor? It's hard to explain the deal we got going, but it's pretty awesome.
> 
> See you soon! - Chase

He had... a neighbor? More importantly _neighbors_ from the sound of it, ones that weren't like Dark or Wilford - who he hadn't seen since first meeting Dark - ones that were actual humans who came to the planet like he had. Chase was very interesting so far, making him want to see about this Range Exchange... maybe with it he could request stuff? He was hoping to get more writing supplies... but maybe that wouldn't be how it work. He didn't know as he didn't have much time to research this all.

He wanted to get more of a chance to talk to Chase, so he stumbled outside, glad to see all his Stony Hens were left alone. His porch friend had not tried to steal one again, nor was he around judging by the lack of greeting. He made his way to the machine that was previously turned off, now active and waiting for him almost excited for Host to interact with it finally. 

He was a bit lonely again, he did miss seeing Dark or Wilford. Not to mention his little Tabby that hid under his porch often, knowing the being enjoyed the small space. Host went to the machine and started it up, jumping slightly at the Irish accented voice that came out. He knew a video was also playing but he couldn't see it without his vision turned on so he didn't bother.

"Hey! I'm glad you were able to make it to the machine, I was kinda worried you wouldn't! But it's cool and I'll say what I need so you know. I'm sure the others will, if they don't I'll go and kick their arses personally!" Chase was full of energy, a voice Host enjoyed quite eagerly whenever he heard one. Especially when they were so happy sounding. "So, I just need ten pogofruit and ten carrots... I'd get them myself but I'm so busy running about on my ranch i can't right now. It'd be great if you got them for me; I'd give you some cuberries in return and some cash."

The Host paused in thought as he first moved to feed his own Slimes, wanting to handle it before he went to get all the stuff Chase asked, trying to make sense of why the man was too busy. Did he have such a successful ranch that he couldn't go and get some simple food himself? Host didn't really get it, so he would have to ask later. He was happy to deal with someone else, he oddly missed all his not human neighbors. Did they not want to be around him like humans did? He tried to shake the negative thoughts out of his head, knowing thinking about such things would make him less likely to actually leave his bed if he submitted to them. 

Soon he was out on the Far Range moving to gather the carrots and fruit by his tank, some by hand even as he enjoyed trying to hand feed the Pink Slimes bouncing about in the area. He was happy about the peaceful day coming about, hoping someone would come by to talk him like Dark or Wilford. Though he did think Wilford couldn't come out in the day, much like the Phosphor Slimes he had on his ranch. But he was Pink and left him confused about it all, maybe it was some odd quirk related to what other Slime he was? He didn't try and ask, knowing doing so would risk all of them leave him completely.

Gathering was quick, which did upset him but he was more excited that he could see Chase again, or well, _hear_ him again as he couldn't see. But Host didn't care happy to enjoy the Irishman's voice, slipping the plants into the deposit shoot and listening to the noises of counting the items he was putting in. He did jump when instead of a voice there was a sort of celebratory firework noise and a crate was whacking into his legs to break open, the stuff Chase promised as payment tumbling out. Host pouted slightly as this meant he wasn't going to hear Chase talk to him again. Maybe next time the man asked for him to trade... But for now Host just had his own farm and area to look after.

"The Host wonders where he should store these cuberries... maybe he should make a silo for once and grow them?" Host pondered aloud not really focusing or noticing someone was around and very eagerly watching the fruit of his labors for Chase.

"Hey Hosty, maybe I can like... take those off your hands." Wilford Warfstache called out, perched up on his gate as his tail swished lightly and seemingly drooling.

"The Host would rather not? The Host would share though."

"Oh, c'mon! Please!"


	6. Sugar Bomb Bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Host and Wilford have a very interesting adventure together in the starry night on the open plains of the Ranch.
> 
> Host is pretty sure Wilford wants to kill him possibly. Maybe.  
> He's still not sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! i'm seriously sorry if things being not as often as i want. Work and all sorts of things make it hard for me to actually want to write.
> 
> I'm trying to get better but it's really hard.
> 
> Beta'd by EchoingVegas

Host had to try and stop Wilford from eating all of his Cuberries he had gotten, managing to fight the giant man off from just taking them right out of his arms. Shoving one into the farm he had paid for, he quickly swatted at him with a free sleeve. "The Host is going to share with Wilford if he is patient, if he is not then he will keep all of them for himself!" Wilford whined out at the threat but stopped. 

"Aw fine Hosty, you party pooper!" Wilford spoke watching him work. "I just want one now! I'm hungryyy!" He whined childishly, floating as he tried to get Host to hand it over. 

"If the Host can wait, then so can Wilford Warfstache." Host teased slightly as he finished up, dropping a few of the Cuberries to the Phosphor Slimes he had. "The Host can tell that his friend is very impatient and not willing to wait for food so he may not be happy being around the Host." Host was soon able to offer a fruit to the man smiling hugely. 

"Thank you, Hosty!" He shoved the thing into his mouth and didn't bother chewing, swallowing the thing almost whole. Host marveled slightly as his sight flashed to show whatever weird odd glow he had blossomed into being even brighter, which if Host had eyes he would of likely winced at it; thankfully he did not so it didn't bother him. Wilford let out pleased little noises at the taste of the Cuberries, which Host had to agree with, they were almost heavenly sweet with every bite he took. Host had to pause as he saw much like his porch friend, Wilford did not let go of any plorts while he ate the berry. Was this something all sentient Slimes did or just a choice the two made? He hadn't seen much of Dark eating and what research he did showed Tarrs didn't produce any form of Plorts, only grow another upon consumption of something, mostly other slimes to trigger it.

Host wanted to ask but his will stopped him from speaking. He didn't wish to chase the man away nor any of them really, so he would write this down as a question he could ask when he was able to. It was already a long, growing list he had been keeping, though he always felt that it would never be used.

"Hosty, come on! I wanna show you my place!" Wilford spoke, grabbing his hand and moving to pull him off to somewhere unknown. "Oh no wait, you haven't opened the door! Well, I know what to do! Come on, let's get everything we'll need!" Host was trying to make sense of what the hell was the man talking about.

"The Host asks that Wilford slow down, please! The Host is not able to keep up with him at this pace!" He was panicking at the idea of falling down and hurting himself.

"Oh okay, Hosty" Wilford did slow down but was still tugging on his arm, pausing with a realization. "Are... you wearing a larger jacket than normal?"

"Maybe..." The human muttered, not wanting to admit that he was wearing a large trench coat just to curl up in.

"That's super cute!" Wilford squealed, moving to scoop him up and ignoring the protesting screams Host released. "You're so tiny Hosty!!! Oh you're probably the cutest neighbor we've gotten!"

"The Host wants to be released, Wilford!" Host screamed out, waving his arms and trying to whack the Slime to get free. 

"Never! Well, maybe! Since I can't carry both things and you!" Wilford set the man down, much to his relief. "Come on, we gotta gather as much food as we can! Though, I think you should carry the fruits or I might eat all of them." Wilford laughed, looking at Host. 

"The Host is willing to do so." The man smiled in his direction, content as they went about gathering all of the fruits and veggies in the area. Though there was a delay when Wilford had to chase after some Hen Hens. "May the Host ask how much longer this will take?"

"Not too long! We should have enough soon!" Wilford explained, beaming hugely "I'm sure you're going to love it! The moss blanket is so peaceful! There's so many big trees to climb, oh and the forest floor is so soft you can nap just about anywhere!" Wilford went on excitedly, his tail swishing slightly as he talked, a large grin not fading from his face.

"Alright, this way!" Wil grabbed his coat, guiding him slightly down to a different path than he was familiar with. "You need a key to open the door and Slimes tend to gather around them! I don't know why personally, but some of our friends have theories to why! The important thing is when they all gather in one spot they tend to turn into one big Slime, so you gotta over feed them to make them pop!" Wil laughed as he explained. "Bim and I tend to do it to wild ones we find in the area to watch it happen."

"The Host is confused as to why this is important to the food they gathered?" 

"Well, I know one that formed all around a key so I figured we could pop it together and then I can give you a tour!" Wilford explained, looking at him happily.

"It's dark, the Host thought it was dangerous to be out late due to Tarrs?" Host shifted, a bit worried when bringing them up.

"Oh, those guys? They don't mess with me after what I showed them!" Wil puffed his chest dramatically. "You'll be fine."

"If Wilford says so... the Host will trust him." 

"Great! Now, you don't mind going over a bridge, do you?" Wilford asked after a moment. "I can hold onto you if it'll make you feel better!"

"The..." Host had to pause, he had no problem with bridges, he could See them clearly. Of course that would mean admitting to having a form of sight and risk chasing off Wilford and Dark... so he had to think "...Host would appreciate that, thank you Wilford." For now he would have to suck up his pride and let them help him, even if it was something he could do on his own just fine. So he let Wil loop their arms together as they made their way over the creaky bridge, his Sight flashing before him to show the large Slime, pink and bouncing; looking excited to see the pair and all the food they were carrying. "The Host asks, do we just give them the food?" He was curious, this was his first time dealing with one after all.

"Yup, and when he's full he pops into a bunch of small ones!" Wilford explained, moving to hand over the veggies he had carried, watching as they got eaten. Soon Host was joining in, giggling at the slight tickling feeling that came from palm feeding a Slime. All of their food but one fruit was gone, leaving Host to give the final one. "You might wanna back up once he takes it, Hosty. I'm not joking about them popping!" Host just nodded and fed it to them, backing up once it was done. Watching through the Sight as indeed the Slime popped into a bunch of smaller ones, leaving a few crates and a key behind. 

"The Host wonders if the crates were also meant to be there." He spoke before moving over to them to break them, he might as well see if something was in it. Shockingly, there was some food and cash! Once the task was done, he picked up the key and looked towards Wilford. "Where are we going next?" 

"To the Moss Blanket, of course! Come on!" Wilford grabbed him again before he could object and dragged him off, rambling eagerly about all of the spots he was going to show him. Host laughed the whole time, only speaking up to ask for them to slow down as the pace was a bit much for him. Soon though, they were at the door where Host inserted the key to watch as the stone entrance slid down and Wilford helped him up the steps. He wondered if this was a good idea, he certainly wasn't excited about sliding down a log... but it was the only way he could go down, so he let Wilford go first to catch him.

"THERE YOU ARE WILFORD! I've been looking all over for-" The voice cut off, freezing at the sight of Host standing in the entryway.


	7. Mossy Tours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Host meets a new friend thanks to Wilford and is shown as much as the area he's able to do without a Jetpack, which is pretty upsetting to the duo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not being consistent on updates i've been trying my best but it's hard sometimes and i've been doing my best. Hopefully i'll be doing better this time.
> 
> Beta'd by EchoingVegas

Wil let out a bit of a gasp as he was pulled away from Host by Bim so the man could harshly whisper into his ear. "Wil what are you doing with that human!? Don't you know how dangerous it is?!"

"Oh it's fine, Bimmy!" Wilford looked at him, waving a hand to the Pink Honey. "He's blind! Isn't that right, Hosty?"

"Wilford is correct, the Host is blind and can't see anything; as insane as it may seem for him to be out in the Far Far Range." Host spoke looking in their area, likely knowing where they were due to them talking. 

"Oh... so he..." Bim asked, glancing over towards Wilford who nodded, gazing at him with a smile showing off his glee. A new person finally to actual talk and spend time with! 

"Hosty, this is Bim Trimmer! He's my apprentice, I'm teaching him all I know!" Wilford spoke, turning to him. "It's great fun showing him how to cause the most chaos in an area."

"Oh stop, you're still better at it than I am!" Bim blushed, waving an arm dismissively even though Host couldn't see it. 

"Nonsense! You've managed to get a chicken from right under Dark's nose! I say that's better than what I can do!" Wilford went beaming in pride at the memory, even he couldn't make Dark part with a meal once his hands grabbed onto it. Dark was seriously sticky, which was great during cuddles. 

"You got King stuck in a hole." Bim shot back, smiling as well both happy to tell stories about each other's tricks.

"The Host is feeling left out, but it's a pleasure to meet Bim Trimmer. The Host believes Wilford wished to show him around his home?" Host cleared his throat, letting them go on for a bit before interrupting. Which was honestly nice and needed, Wilford knew how long the two of them would go.

"Oh, yes! It's going to be wonderful Host... oh but you don't have a jetpack do you? That might make this a little harder than planned." Wilford mumbled in thought. 

"Why would Host not having a jetpack be a problem?" Host asked, looking a bit worried.

"Well, we can't really swim in the sea... so trying to do so is pretty dumb and you wouldn't be able to just swim to the different segments... you have to fly. Though with... you know... I don't know if you'd even be for that." Bim explained, rubbing his neck and feeling a bit uncomfortable for the poor guy.

"The Host will manage fine, though he would need practice like everyone else... just possibly much more to make up for his lack of sight." Host mumbled slightly as he stood in thought, wondering if it would be possible.

"If you think so." Bim shrugged, looking at him. "Still it's a bit different compared to walking, it might be hard on you."

"The Host understands, he'll keep that in mind when he does invest in a jetpack." Host replied, smiling as he did. 

"And even if it's too weird for you I can always guide you! I'm the top flier of the gang!" Wilford boasted as he puffed his chest out, his wings flapping a bit and almost taking him off the ground. "I'd try carrying you but I don't think it's the safest." Bim knew it was more likely for them to get found out if he did, but if Wil just helped the human out when he had a jetpack, they could lie and say he couldn't hear Wil's over his own.

"The Host thanks Wilford for his future assistance." Honestly, Bim fucking loved Host's little half smiles as they were filled with pure joy. "But the tour?"

"Right, right! Bim, you'll help right?" Wilford looked over to him, giving big puppy eyes. "Come on, please?"

"Oh, alright." Bim sighed out, smiling. "But only because you're a shitty tour guide!"

Wilford gasped out, covering his chest. "How dare you, Bim! I'll just have to show you!" Wilford took the Host's hand, moving to drag him off, grinning hugely. "Come on, Bim! We gotta show him EVERYTHING!"

"Alright man, let's do it!" Bim whooped, moving to dash off, grabbing Host to drag him as well "I know ALL of the best places, not even Wil knows them!"

"The Host is already very nervous about this."


	8. Double Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two eager Slimes make an effort to show their new friend all around the Mossy Blanket, at least all he can see...
> 
> It might not be much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! i'm so SO sorry i haven't been posting. i've been trying to be good but i've been working on other things. hopefully things i can post when i feel comfortable with it.
> 
> Beta'd by EchoingVegas

The Host had to say, the two sure were something compared to Dark who was much calmer. Bim, the one Wilford just introduced him to, was dragging him about by the wrist, "So we're in the entrance! It's really lovely; we got a nice pool and there's all sorts of Slimes here. I'd say my personal favorite is the Puddle Slimes, they're just so cute!" Host nodded and mumbled softly to himself to get the picture Bim was trying to paint, using his words as a way to help.

It was large, with pure green grass that was a color Host never saw at home on Earth. The stone walls rising up with little spots of dirt mounds, one had a large nest resting on it with some of the chicken-like animals moving about trying to avoid the Tabbies waiting nearby. The lake, which was in the center, was truly lovely showing the Puddle Slimes Bim mentioned. They did look like puddles; little eyes and small trills ringing out as they swam about. Some almost blending into the water - being the same color - while others were a brighter color, close to a seafoam green shade with a large lily flower on them making them look like lily pads, Host honestly wanted to take some of them home but wasn't able to host them. He doubted he could afford and build a pond on his own farm, he settled for being brought to the edge with Bim bringing him down to touch the water. "It's so cool and refreshing... I tend to take baths here as the other places are so crowded and it's just a hassle to try and shove my way into it to be alone. Here," Bim guided his hand into the water and it was cool, a comfortable temperature that he knew he would enjoy sitting at the edge of. "Isn't it nice? It's so shady here, too." 

"The Host has to agree, it is lovely." He spoke up moving to finally take in Bim, wondering how he looked. Wilford and Dark were oddities and he hadn't seen much to match them; maybe Bim would be a familiarity? The shimmer that came from the built in sparkles was matching the more odd, Pink Slimes one of which he had in his pen back home. But the crown on top was new, along with the more darker coloration that came off as if someone had drop some purple food dye in an already pink based jello. What type of Slime could possibly have that that Host wasn't aware of, maybe he would find out during the tour which would calm his need to know.

"I wish I could come by here more often but King doesn't really like getting so close to the entrance. He's a bit skittish and my boyfriend! I don't think you'll get to meet him anytime soon cause of that; if he had it his way all the time he'd never leave our house. Thankfully around there is just as beautiful as here! Cause you don't have a jetpack yet I can't show you along with Wil's place, we could of if the bridge wasn't out and no one really knows how to fix it even if we wanted." 

"That's a shame, the Host was looking forward to seeing his new friends' homes." Host noticed quickly neither of them said 'ranch,' making it clear they didn't do that at all. Which helped added to the case that they were hiding their nature from Host on purpose along with possibly everyone else, had Chase met anyone like this? Not likely, as he had functioning eyeballs in his skull unlike Host... so they'd be able to easily tell he could see.

Maybe that was why Host's friend hid under his porch; he didn't try to see Host so he assumed he was properly sighted. His thoughts were pulled away as Bim kept on with the tour, "Now we got a little pathway that's a bit sector. We got a few places we can go but I think seeing how it's late and we all need sleep we should take you the path to where the One-way Teleporter back to your ranch is." 

"The Host didn't know such things existed." A way to go back to his ranch in an Instant when he went far from it? That was wonderful news for him. "Is there one in the Dry Reef?"

"I don't think so, but there is the shortcut one under the Tabby we went past." Wil spoke as they directed him.

"Shortcut?" He tilted his head, confused on why he would bring it up.

"Well it's a pretty long trip, and there's extra space on your ranch with some linked teleporters that lead both to other ranches if the owner invites you or to other parts of the island; like here and the Indigo Quarry." Bim explained. "Of course some of the big Slimes like to form up ontop of them, I think it's because they give a weird tingling sensation to them even when deactivated." Host noticed how he spoke trying to avoid saying first person what he meant, he would have to keep that in mind for later. "Now, we gotta be a bit careful coming up. I'm sure you've encountered some feral Slimes around and this place has ones that are able to do a bit more than bite. Did Wil mention Boom Slimes?"

"Dark mentioned them to the Host when they met on his first day here on the Far Far Range." Host answered, "he did not go into much detail but the Host has to guess they tend to explode due to the name?" 

"Yeah, it's not super deadly but it can really knock the wind out of anyone." Bim went on a bit of shock in his voice. "They do tend to leave us alone since we come by alot but that doesn't mean they still aren't an issue for us. You've met Dark? He's like the most anti-social person i've ever known."

"The Host met Dark in the reef, he showed Host around and was a pleasant conversationalist. It wasn't often that the Host gets to enjoy talks like that back on Earth due to his own anti-social tendencies." Host was content to explain as Bim moved them almost skillfully through the tunnel past the angry Slimes, making sure to help Host avoid a possible incoming explosion. He seemed so well trained, maybe King had a bit of Boom in him or was one fully? Host didn't dare ask the question, knowing doing so would out the fact he _had_ seen them in a sense. Meaning they would panic and likely hide away, and Host did not want to lost his first few friends in ages. So keeping quiet until one of them found out what was happening was his only option.

"Huh, it's good he has someone else to talk to besides Wil finally!" Bim spoke, "now we got a bit of a clearing here, personally I tend to enjoy napping here so if you swing by you might bump into me! Okay, we gotta be careful since we're about to go through a log that's acting as a bridge." Host nodded as they made their way through with Host noticing some purple Slimes with a Crown on their head which had him speaking up.

"The Host is curious what these Slimes are; the purple ones." Host asked, turning to Bim.

"Oh! They're Honey Slimes. Those two are some of the more rare ones, some tend to have a different look." Bim explained easily but paused. "...how did you know they were purple?"

"The Host made a lucky guess?" Host let out nervously. Damn, he should of walked into one and asked about what he rammed into. 

Bim just shrugged and went with it, "well it was a great one. Honey Slimes are normally orangey yellow, like Honey I guess, and got a comb sitting on them." The man explained contently, "we got a bit of a river thing with some bridges coming up." Host nodded listening as they made it onto solid land. "There's a bit of a pathway of bridges to get to King and I's place but it's not really easy to get to without a jetpack. The same can be said about Wil's place and I can show you the closest point you can get to another time. Maybe tomorrow!" Bim grinned with both of them still guiding Host over the bridges and calming him slightly when they made a noise that made them seem unstable. "We got a little of an uphill climb here, but at the end is the one way back to your place. So, I guess this is goodbye for now." 

Wilford made sure he didn't fall by standing behind them in case Host stumbled. Host honestly was both annoyed and enjoying being cared for by the two, sure he enjoyed his independence but it was nice to see someone - even if not properly human - cared about him because they liked being around him.

"The Host wishes his friends a good night, he looks forward to seeing both of them soon." He walked towards the teleporter, being careful to not trip now that the duo had let go of him and let him move on his own. He waved to them and both of them waved back.

"Can't wait, Hosty! Take care!" Bim shouted, having picked up Wilford's nickname for him it seemed. Wilford didn't say anything besides a loud bye before Host was stepping onto the pad and being whisked away. 

Bim was right, it was a very tingling sensation.


End file.
